Pro Relationship Problem Solving Tips | How to deal with Allegations in Relationships | Maintaining peace in relationships.
Allegation is something which we all have in our lives whether flinging them at others or being on the receiving end. It is like a curse given by the curser. Interestingly it plays an important role when the scenario is a Boy-Girl Relation.
Scenario of Allegations in Relationships:
1) Suppose a
boy blames his girl that she "flirted with boys" or a girl blames
that he "misbehaved with her friends" in a certain discussion. Now,
this gets vividly fixed in mind of your companion as an allegation probably for the rest of life
even if the allegation is no longer put on that person. And we will refer to it
as a "Witch" in mind for the rest of our thoughts. They take root even if the accusation was resolved earlier. These witches, often unsubstantiated or out-of-date, fuel frustration and unproductive arguments.
2) With every such event and every allegation hurled, the number of witches will keep on increasing knowing no ends, growing sense of resentment which will turn into frustration.
Solution of Arguments and Fights:
We need to
build our thought process in the following manner:
1) One thing
is clear that something has to be done to reduce the number of witches in mind
for the relation to survive.
2) Allegations that are made generally in a fight or argument which remains relevant ONLY till that argument exists, should END along with that argument. Accusations are often situation specific. Address the issue during the argument; once resolved, move on.
3) Make sure not to let the witch come out unless there is evidence which proves that the allegation still persists (say, the boy misbehaved in recent times or the girl flirts frequently). If there is no proof, it means that it's a witch and the allegation sustain no more and hence needs to be deleted from the mind. Recognize the witch as relic of past argument that shouldn't resurface in future disagreements.
4) The most important belief is that the curse no more exists after the curser has revoked it in his/her own mind.
5) When the other person has no poison in his/her mind and do
not feel the same blame now, it should be sufficient to delete the witch and
never exclaim that you have blamed me for such and such thing.
Hope the
above thoughts inculcate happiness, reduce chaos and fights not specifically in a Boy-Girl relation
but in any relation whatsoever.
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